Beware the Starbucks of March

So Starbucks is giving out free coffee from 10 a.m. to noon today. Can you imagine the crowds? I tried to convince the powers that be here to move our weekly 11 'o clock meeting to Starbucks so we can partake, but we have guests coming in, so it wouldn't work.

Speaking of coffee, we're testing out a new machine at work. It dispenses those cups with poker cards on them, like they used to have in the bowling alleys. The cappucinos and lattes are pretty good, but they're made with whole milk, which upsets my borderline-lactose-intolerant belly. They put a sheet on the side of the machine so people can record their comments. A sample:

• I find it offensive that the word coffee is used to describe what this machine vends.
• Where's the chicken soup?
• Aren't you encouraging employee gambling with these cups?

And beneath it all: Quit your whining. It's free!