Forgetful Jones gets lucky

I'm still in bed and decide to call M, who's already left for work, to say good morning.

C: Hi hon.

M: Hey. Just so you know, you may find Chinese food all over the garage floor or in the driveway when you leave.

C: Huh?

M: (pauses) Well, I put my leftover Chinese food from the Super Bowl on the roof of my car, and I, well, I forgot about it. And it isn't there anymore, so I don't know where it fell off.

C: (groan)

M: Don't worry, I'll clean it up.

So I get dressed, eat breakfast and go to leave...And there's a Styrofoam container on the garage floor next to the trash barrel. It fell off on its bottom and opened a tiny bit, so he lost a bit of General Gau's, but most of the food is intact. He is one lucky mofo. So I put it back in the fridge for him. Then I call him:

C: Hey.

M: I'm very busy.

C: Well, I thought you might want to know I found your food, dinky.

M: Oh really.

C: Yes, and it was on the garage floor. You still have most of it.

M: Cool!

I love him, but he's a turkey. But of course, he's my turkey.

PS I finished Dry. You need a strong stomach to read it, but it's an awesome book.