Saturday, January 01, 2005

A new year, yet another resolution.

I'm a writer with a blog who never posts in it.

I was shitty at keeping diaries as a kid. What makes me think things are gonna change because the format is digital rather than written in a locked book under my bed?

I have blog posts saved in my head all the time. I love reading others' blogs. So I've decided that this blog will become more readable in 2005.

So where do I begin? Last night, M and I went to see my parentals to do Christmas gifts. Yes, Christmas gifts. My little brother and his wife just bought a house, and they've been up to their assholes cleaning and recarpeting and packing, etc., so this was the first chance we got to have gifts as a family. Mom bought us all pizzas from Pizzeria Regina and made calzone. After the eatfest that December 2004 has been, I feel guilty even looking at food. I went to Weight Watchers December 30, and from December 7 to then I gained 5.6 pounds. I feel like a pig. Part of it was being the end of the day, part of it was the lined jeans I was wearing -- but it also was a direct result of my holiday gluttony. Did I forget the rules? That I can't just eat what I want and expect the zipper of my jeans to purr upwards? What IS it with me and sugar? Then again, it was the holidays, and I should just go easy on myself. Except my appetite is still huge. I would just love to have a decent relationship with food. But I don't think a woman alive has it.

Anywhoo, after gifts and pizza and patting my brother's golden retriever (even though I shouldn't have -- she's a walking allergen) , we went home and lit a fire. I don't know what it is about lighting my fireplace, but it always makes me fall asleep. Then I panic b/c I basically am falling asleep on a fire in my house. My house is my baby. If someone asks me what I did over the weekend, my usual answer is, "Stayed home. Cleaned. Did laundry." Something about taking care of our home just soothes the shit out of me. Especially on a snowy, cold, raw day, where I can just stay home in my jammies.

We woke up five minutes to midnight. I barely kept my eyes open to watch the ball drop. Happy new year, kiss kiss. Then M crawled up the stairs to bed. I stayed up to straighten up a bit after getting a bit of a second wind, ran the dishwasher, etc. This morning we had the champagne I bought as mimosas, and very expensive (and so not worth it) strawberries, as well as doughnuts. Another guilt food.

So, Christine, how's work going? It's going. I've been there three months now. After three years at my old place, I still feel out of sorts. It's a new feeling, to not be the person in the office everyone asks everything of. To not feel like the ground is totally stable beneath my feet. To really not know anyone and have to build new relationships, workwise or other, from scratch. But it's coming along. I'm well into the production cycle groove. Deadlines are my bread and butter, man. I've kept in touch with a lot of people at the old joint, especially the girl who sat next to me, but not the boss. I have a case of the guilts over that last one because we were so close, but I don't think it was a healthy relationship, and I felt I needed to end it. She sent me a birthday card, which I thanked her for tersely in an email. I'm hoping she gets the hint, but getting the hint is not her strong suit.

So, the bottom line: look for more posts in '05. But not this long. My fingers will bleed.

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