Don't know if I can handle the truth

So M is still feeling crappy. He's on Cipro, which is a pretty hardcore antibiotic. His doctor called today and said his creatinine levels are elevated, which can indicate kidney damage. The doctor also is thinking that he may have the autoimmune disease they think he has. I have a feeling of foreboding, and I'm just beside myself. I'm trying to stay strong for him, take care of myself, but tonight, I just broke down in the car and couldn't stop crying. Holy shit, what would I do without him? I feel like I'm living in a nightmare and I can't get out. My depression finally lifted, and now I have this to deal with. I love him so much, and I'm so afraid we will never have a normal life together and children and the things most couples have. I'm filled with dread and fear and I'm scared shitless. I went shopping yesterday, and the retail therapy helped a bit, but it doesn't make the problem go away. I keep saying, I want a diagnosis, not knowing is the worst part, but you know what the worst part is? The man I love being sick and not knowing what tomorrow will bring us. I just want to put my feet back on solid ground. Is that too much to ask?

And if you're wondering, no, I'm not OK. What do I do?