You tell her, sister

From today's Prudie:

Dear Prudie:
I finally did it. While sitting at my favorite coffee shop I endured an excruciating 25 minutes until I could bear it no more. I loudly told the mother of a 2-year-old to shut her child up. I have no regrets, but am interested in your opinion. Every day I listen to college-age women gab on their cell phones about the most intimate matters, while I am sitting mere feet away. I once gently told one woman, about to initiate her fourth 15-minute conversation of the day, that I had been learning a good deal about her, her friends, and her thoughts about life and relationships. While I found it interesting, I wondered whether she really wanted to share all these things with a complete stranger. Stunned into silence, she withdrew into, mirabile visu, private meditation. Today I witnessed the drearily familiar scene of a parent, undoubtedly driven mad by the auditory excesses of her child, seeking solace over coffee with friends. Who would not sympathize? Well, I don't, not when she barely made an effort to quiet a kid who was running around and screaming. It is wrong to take my time away from me because you are unable to discipline your child. Our society is losing touch with the concept of borders and the separation between public and private. Today I struck a small blow for a return to the notion of shared space that does not equate to the absolute surrender by all to the whims of a 2-year-old.
--Ungently


Dear Un:
Prudie shares your feelings entirely. Observation suggests that we are too deep into a culture of "do whatever." Cell phones are, alas, now part of life, and either people don't care that they're bothering others and may be overheard -- or they've never given it a thought. We are also in agreement that borders and boundaries are gone with the wind, save for the minority who still cares about politesse. To protect yourself, my only recommendation would be to find places that are not hangouts for young mothers. This is a public policy problem with no answer. Probably the best thing you can do (when you can stand it no longer) is to say something. Once in a while it may even do some good.
-- Prudie, sadly

I admire the ballage on this woman. I was in a restaurant once where a kid kept getting near the fireplace (which happened to have a fire roaring in it), and the waitresses had to keep telling the kid to get away . As did we, as we were seated next to the fireplace. The parents were too busy with their cocktails and adult conversation to discipline their damn kids. It makes my blood boil just to think of it. A close relative of this is being in a big-box retailer, whose name usually begins with a W or T, and hearing some kid cry in absolute exhaustion, only to have the parents say, "Shut up! Stop crying! You're embarrassing me!" OK, kids cry like that when they are tired. They don't belong out at midnight. They belong in bed.

When you become a parent, you CANNOT DO all the things you used to do before you had children, like go to the store whenever you want or eat in a fancy restaurant. Some people just do not get this concept. They insist on subjecting the unwashed masses to their children's "misbehavior," which isn't really, because they are kids in an adult situation with no supervision.

I realize that my readers with kids are going to tell me that I just don't understand, since I am currently childless. Maybe I don't totally, but I do know what kind of parent I want to be someday. How? From watching the shitty parenting I see around me and modeling my behavior the other way. So step.

Today's rant brought to you by: Prudie. Back to happy Christine tomorrow.