Saturday, April 02, 2005

A clean, unfriendly place

With apologies to one of my favorite Hemingway stories, today I’m going to approach a sensitive, somewhat dangerous subject, considering who might be reading this blog: My work, and how I feel about it after six months on the job.

It came to me this morning that I’ve left a workplace full of people who were like dogs -- friendly from the get-go, clingy and needing a lot of care -- to a workplace of cats -- wary, giving out affection in small doses and more self-sufficient. In real life, I prefer dogs to cats. But I am put off by their clinginess, so that part of the equation is preferable in my new work situation. What I don’t like is when people are so unfriendly, it makes the workplace seem hostile and not collaborative. On my end, I am trying to make the situation better by taking a class called “From Conflict to Collaboration.” I need to build up my friendships outside of work as well as my activities. But it still pisses me off.

I had a long session yesterday with my therapist about things. She says when you have a bad week at work (oh boy, did I), you tend to see the whole job experience as negative. It just seemed like I was finally getting somewhere with these people, and now I’m not. I guess it’s two steps forward, one step back. I know I am growing and learning, and for those things, I’m grateful; in dog town, I got neither. But I would just like things to get easier. I hope they do. Soon.

In unrelated news: I’m hoping the Holy Father passes soon so he doesn’t suffer, although it may seem his whole papacy has been about suffering. When you’re that old and sick, death is a release. I wonder who will be the next pope, and if it means M and I can go back to church because the Catholics will come out of the dark ages? Anyway, the process of choosing a pope is fascinating. If you’ve ever read Dan Brown’s Angels and Demons, I’m sure you have it on your mind.
Overthink
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