And this was my Saturday
Last night, M convinced me to go to a local restaurant for standup comedy night. I hesitated, since we got there at 10 to 7 and the show started at 8, I wanted dinner in the dining room first, and the wait was 30 to 45 minutes for a table. He convinced me to give up our name on the waiting list and partake of the "light menu" they had in the comedy room. I gotta say, it was pretty good -- the dinner, that is. I got a turkey wrap, chips and a cookie for $7. He got the same plate as a tuna wrap.
Steve Donovan, who is one of the cohosts on the morning show at WXLO (and a piece of ass), was the host. He was bombed. His timing was all fucked up, he kept messing up the punchlines of jokes, and he even said at one point, "Hey, I'm the host. If I'm even remotely funny, that's a bonus." Wasn't a bonus, dude. There were four other comedians, a really deadpan guy (who was so memorable, I just forgot to mention him), former 'XLO morning host Frank Foley and two others. One was a bald guy with glasses who compared himself looks-wise to the Nazi dude from Raiders of the Lost Ark , and the headliner. All were spotty, but the headliner was probably the most consistently funny. To give you an idea of the level of humor we were subjected to, at one point, Foley started trying to be all edgy and talk about gays. "They changed the rules of leapfrog," he said. "When I was a kid, you went completely OVER the guy in front of you. Now you don't stop and offer to buy him a drink." Ha freaking ha.
The worst part of seeing any kind of live show (or movie, for that matter) is the crowd. Sometimes they're fun, and this crowd was near-sold out. (I told M I felt like I was back on a T bus, praying no one would see there was an empty seat and sit near us -- I like my space.) This one was drunk. And since the comedians were hit or miss, people got chatty. One guy at the next table (which was literally covered with beer bottles by the time we left) was talking really loudly -- he was hammered. M was getting pissy, since it was making it hard to hear, and I was going to get the waitress to tell them to pipe down. My attitude was, why confront someone that drunk? Who knows what kind of drunk he is -- he could be an angry one. Finally, the people at the table behind us, who were also hammered but SHUT THE FUCK UP when the comedians came on, yelled "QUIET!" It was a group of young people he was scolding, so they got really cowed, but one of the girls at the table said, "Wow, they can talk." To which Mr. Quiet's wife said, "We should have said something sooner." They did the old passive-aggressive keep-looking-over-at-the-people-who-publicly-yelled-at-you-but-don't-say-anything thing. People are such pussies. Not that I wanted a fight to break out or anything, but have some nuttage, will ya?
The other big event of yesterday was I went to my girlfriend's baby shower. My friend has been trying to get pregnant for years and finally did. She's due in a month. She is so happy, she's absolutely glowing. And she looks gorgeous. She got the most beautiful baby gifts I've ever seen, including several homemade crocheted afghans and a handmade quilt from her dad and his wife. She also got a lot of "big stuff," like a high chair, playpen, stroller, etc. I am so happy for her. We went to HS together, and I never really got along with her other friends, nor did they get along with me, so it was kinda like, how ya doing? and that was it. It was like that at her wedding, too. And it's funny, I said to myself at the time, I don't have to see these people again until she has a kid, and bingo, there they were yesterday. They're not bad people, but they never got past HS. There were a lot of little snubs during the day, but I considered the source. Her one friend who I'd like to punch in the face on sight was not there, thank goodness. And my mom went too, so I had someone to sit with and talk to. Hopefully we'll get a private audience with her when we go see her in the hospital after she has her bubbie.
I want a baby, too. But sometimes I don't.
Steve Donovan, who is one of the cohosts on the morning show at WXLO (and a piece of ass), was the host. He was bombed. His timing was all fucked up, he kept messing up the punchlines of jokes, and he even said at one point, "Hey, I'm the host. If I'm even remotely funny, that's a bonus." Wasn't a bonus, dude. There were four other comedians, a really deadpan guy (who was so memorable, I just forgot to mention him), former 'XLO morning host Frank Foley and two others. One was a bald guy with glasses who compared himself looks-wise to the Nazi dude from Raiders of the Lost Ark , and the headliner. All were spotty, but the headliner was probably the most consistently funny. To give you an idea of the level of humor we were subjected to, at one point, Foley started trying to be all edgy and talk about gays. "They changed the rules of leapfrog," he said. "When I was a kid, you went completely OVER the guy in front of you. Now you don't stop and offer to buy him a drink." Ha freaking ha.
The worst part of seeing any kind of live show (or movie, for that matter) is the crowd. Sometimes they're fun, and this crowd was near-sold out. (I told M I felt like I was back on a T bus, praying no one would see there was an empty seat and sit near us -- I like my space.) This one was drunk. And since the comedians were hit or miss, people got chatty. One guy at the next table (which was literally covered with beer bottles by the time we left) was talking really loudly -- he was hammered. M was getting pissy, since it was making it hard to hear, and I was going to get the waitress to tell them to pipe down. My attitude was, why confront someone that drunk? Who knows what kind of drunk he is -- he could be an angry one. Finally, the people at the table behind us, who were also hammered but SHUT THE FUCK UP when the comedians came on, yelled "QUIET!" It was a group of young people he was scolding, so they got really cowed, but one of the girls at the table said, "Wow, they can talk." To which Mr. Quiet's wife said, "We should have said something sooner." They did the old passive-aggressive keep-looking-over-at-the-people-who-publicly-yelled-at-you-but-don't-say-anything thing. People are such pussies. Not that I wanted a fight to break out or anything, but have some nuttage, will ya?
The other big event of yesterday was I went to my girlfriend's baby shower. My friend has been trying to get pregnant for years and finally did. She's due in a month. She is so happy, she's absolutely glowing. And she looks gorgeous. She got the most beautiful baby gifts I've ever seen, including several homemade crocheted afghans and a handmade quilt from her dad and his wife. She also got a lot of "big stuff," like a high chair, playpen, stroller, etc. I am so happy for her. We went to HS together, and I never really got along with her other friends, nor did they get along with me, so it was kinda like, how ya doing? and that was it. It was like that at her wedding, too. And it's funny, I said to myself at the time, I don't have to see these people again until she has a kid, and bingo, there they were yesterday. They're not bad people, but they never got past HS. There were a lot of little snubs during the day, but I considered the source. Her one friend who I'd like to punch in the face on sight was not there, thank goodness. And my mom went too, so I had someone to sit with and talk to. Hopefully we'll get a private audience with her when we go see her in the hospital after she has her bubbie.
I want a baby, too. But sometimes I don't.
