Workin' 9 to 5, what a way to make a living

Being back at work is a strange and humbling experience. You feel like you have a new job, and yet you know what you're doing and the people. I'm asking questions about things that took place three months ago -- my brain is caught in a time warp. Being at home was simpler but less intellectually stimulating. Although my days went by a lot faster.

So I watched the American Idol groupsing last night on the results show. I have to say, I enjoyed it. And I forgot what a cynical yet catchy song 9 to 5 is. Even though it was written more than 20 years ago, the lyrics are still so true:

They just use your mind
But they never give you credit
It's enough to drive you
Crazy if you let it

Goodbye, Chikezie

We hardly knew ye. I won't miss you, though.

Well, my Tuesday nights just freed up

Melinda Doolittle has been voted off Idol. Disgusting. Not watching the finale. America absolutely got it wrong.

Open letter to Jordin Sparks

Dear Jordin --

You are truly adorable. And what a voice. However, do you have to continually make me feel so damn old? Examples:

"My mom loves Bon Jovi." Are you kidding me? I'm not a fan, but Bon Jovi and Skid Row at what was then Great Woods was one of the first concerts I ever went to. You were barely a twinkle in your mom's eye.

"My favorite song is Hanson's Mmmmbop." OK, it's a cute song. But your favorite song of all time? Seriously? You can sing circles around Blake Lewis, but he has better taste.

"I've never heard of Wishing on a Star/Rose Royce was in the '70s, right?" Come on. I'm not real up on Ms. Royce, but there have been covers and remakes. You know, one was by the Cover Girls? Oh, never mind.

I'm really not old and bitter -- I think you have a shot at the final. Just please proceed to sing and keep your yap shut. Thank you.

Love and kisses,
Christine

America got it right

With the ouster of Chris Richardson and Phil Stacey, that is. M and I think this is the strongest final four ever -- any of them could be the next American Idol.

How to make M go running out of the room

Show George and Laura on American Idol. I swear, he left smoke behind him.

Our long national nightmare is over

Not the Iraq war, which has killed as many people as 9/11.

Not our utterly incompetent (so sez those on both sides of the political aisle) two-term president.

Not the capture of Bin Laden.

Sanjaya Malakar has been voted off American Idol.

For all the press it's gotten, you'd think one of the three things I named happened.

Disgusting.

In defense of Sanjaya

Interesting article.

Idol old school

Good stuff.

And now, back to your regularly scheduled whining

Last night's Idol rocked. As does Tony Bennett. As do Thursday nights at my house -- AI followed by House.

That is all.

Bye-bye, Chris Sligh

I never really warmed up to him. His tone is really nice, but the boy can't sing. He was hitting some whacked-out notes when he sang Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic. I'm glad he's gone, to be honest. I'm sure Jody isn't. She likes him. Oh, Jody?

So when will Sanjaya follow?

Bad news for ladies named Edwards

I just watched the John and Elizabeth Edwards press conference online. They are one classy couple. Apparently, in case you haven't heard, Elizabeth's cancer is back and has moved into her bone. That means it is incurable and can only be controlled, not cured. However, John is continuing on with his presidential campaign. Good people they are.

And on a lighter note, as you've probably heard, Stephanie Edwards got the ol' bootola last night on American Idol. Not to be all "I told you so," but I called that before the results show even came on. And that Lulu can shure sing.

Sanjaya: Denied!

So M has taken the advice of this site too literally and put Sanjaya's number on redial after we watched American Idol. "He really got me," he said with a shiteating smirk.

"I'm getting a busy signal," he kept telling me, while I easily dialed the right number for Melinda Doolittle from my cell and got through almost every time. "Lots of people must be voting for Sanjaya."

Except, well, the numbers are 866, not 877. D'oh! No wonder he couldn't get through. We'll see who emerges victorious tonight.

Best singer on American Idol: Melinda Doolittle

Here's the proof:

Observations from American Idol

• I couldn't care less about the arrogant little shits who think Simon et al are full of crap for passing on them. But the normal, nice kids who are deluded about their talent and get cut almost make me cry. EDITED TO ADD: This article talks about Idol recidivists.
  
• Best singers last night (and most likely to make the Top 12, in our humble opinions): The black girl who identified herself as a crack baby and the Navy guy from the USS Ronald Reagan.
  
• Is it me, or has Simon mellowed? He seemed nicer last night. Maybe it was the liberal use of the word sweetheart that threw me off. Or he could be being condescending, I don't know. All I know is, a compliment from him is worth one from Randy, Paula and Jewel combined.
  
• The Prince montage (various bad singers trying to warble his "Kiss") made me laugh until I cried.
  
• The previews for Seattle aren't really making me want to invest two hours of my life into the show tonight. Overall, the audition shows frustrate me. Get on with the damn top 12, already!

My thoughts on American Idol:

• Diana: One hell of a voice, especially for a 16-year-old. And very cute. All the same, she's 16. What kind of depth of life experience can she have? And as much as she's a great singer technically, she's not a great performer. She can't command the stage like Fantasia. She can't dance. She's like a Mariah Carey/Celine Dion/Whitney Houston...give her a song and she'll belt it out, standing there all the while like a beautiful flower. If she wins, I expect they'll give her a makeover and a boob job like Kelly and make her another gorgeous belter with a bunch of power ballads.
  
  This all being said, I like her. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if she won.

• Fantasia: I read an article on MSNBC that contains the following quote:
  "Even putting aside Diana’s more impressive struggle to stay in the game, there’s another reason why she should win: Fantasia’s voice, frankly, is unpleasant to listen to. There is a strange phenomenon in music known as She Is Wildly Talented But I Can’t Stand Listening To Her Sing, and that is the category to which Fantasia belongs. You can’t miss the power of her voice or the flourishes she’s capable of. She’s substantially more advanced than Diana, speaking in terms of sheer power and technical facility. Fantasia also has a lot of personality, particularly if you like loud. But the fact remains that her voice is more impressive than it is pleasing. The tone is grating and not hospitable to melodies, and for all the rips at Diana’s youth, something about Fantasia’s voice has a distinctly irritating little-girl quality of its own."
  
  That being said, Fantasia is NOT another Whitney/Celine/Mariah knockoff. She is insanely original. She is gutsy and ballsy. And damn but doesn't she control the stage and know how to work it. She also is capable of bringing down the house and bringing people to tears. So should she win? Probably. Will I like listening to her on the radio, singing "I Believe" with the gospel choir? (I heard this morning that they've cut singles of the two finalists; whoever wins will have the single sent to radio immediately.) Probably not.

Can't wait to see what happens tonight.