Spanx a lot

I went shopping again yesterday to try to find some clothes for my impending return to work. I wound up finding some shirts at Coldwater Creek. But I also found something else: A slimming panty called Spanx. It basically goes over your tummy, butt and thighs to smooth all three; think the control top part of the pantyhose without the hose.

There are two problems here:

1) As many of you chickies out there know, when you try to hold things in, they need to go somewhere. Like a big bulge at the top.

2) They are hot as hell. And they itch.

That's $36 I'll never see again.

The best way to snack

Good article about how to snack smart.

Fattening summer foods

This list of foods to stay away from if you want to fit into your bikini (not that I would EVER wear one) depressed the hell out of me. It's all my favorite indulgent treats, man. And while I knew they weren't health food, seeing the calories and fat grams in black and white is really shocking.

Dine out, stay slim

This article had some good tips and philosophies about watching your weight while eating out. M and I always share food (well, unless he orders a member of the Holy Trinity of the foods I don't eat: red meat, pork and shellfish), so it makes a lot of sense.

And speaking of eating out, we headed out to our favorite local we-don't-feel-like-cooking-so-let's-go-out place last night. It sucked out loud. My quiche was watery, M's French fries were barely cooked and the service was slow. I told M: Never again. Too bad, because it sure was convenient to our house. And cheap.

Yet another sign we are completely insane in this country

I was flipping through the Telegram yesterday when I came across this AP story about diabulimia. Basically, we've got insulin-dependent diabetics not taking their insulin so they can be thin. In the meantime, they are wrecking their kidneys and risking blindness, heart attack, amputation and early death.

Now, I feel for anyone with an eating disorder. Bulimia, anorexia and the rest have THE highest mortality rate of any mental illness. Surely, these girls (and they overwhelmingly are female) know what they're doing is wrong and sick. I just am disgusted with the culture in this country that some people would rather risk major medical complications than be fat.

OK, I'm done now. Feel free to comment away.

Sneaky diet tips

Good article on how to work weight loss into your life.

Confessions of a former fat girl

This article about one woman's journey from "fat girl" to slim girl was incredibly inspiring. I wanted to share.

Fat city

Oklahoma City named the biggest user of fast food. In a related note, they are also one of the fattest cities in the country. As the article notes, it's the home of Sonic, the commercials for which taunt me every night when I watch basic cable. Alas, there is no Sonic here. Or Stein Mart, which we see commercials for too.

Out, out, damned Peeps

I love Peeps. I know they are horrible for you. I know they are pure junk food. But I love 'em. Love the colors. Love the sugar rush. Love the Easterness of it all.

Anyhoo, M brought home a whole sheet of pink bunnies. I have been picking at them, with the theory that you can eat four of them for three Weight Watchers points. He also brought home these hideous marshmallow things with "chocolate-flavored coating." They really do taste like ass, but they are good in a pinch. I'm trying so hard to drop a few pounds, and I knew I would never do it with those things hanging around. So in the trash they went. I feel better now.

A bunch of articles that made me feel lazy

I spent last night watching American Idol (more on that later) and reading Newsweek. These articles about the benefits of exercise will either make you feel virtuous or guilty. But they're definitely interesting and informative. Now that the weather's getting better (although not today -- first day of spring, my arse), I will work to get past my excuses and move.

I lost the requested pound

Hoo-freaking-ray.

It could be that I was wearing a lighter sweater yesterday, since the weather has taken a turn for the better. But it could also be that M and I went to Piccadilly Pub Tuesday night, and instead of getting the gorgonzola and chicken ravioli that were calling my name, I got a salad with chicken, cranberries, feta cheese and nuts. I felt so virtuous. Of course, M got his beloved fish and chips.

You know, it has been so warm that my yard is now snow-free. Just in time for the nor'easter tomorrow. You gotta love March.

I'm not a loser

So I'm doing Weight Watchers at work. And I'm stubbornly staying at the same weight. My leader told me to try for just one pound. I'm just not inspired, man. And to top it off, my leader read off a list of names who had lost five, 10, 25 and even 50 pounds. I was seriously thrilled for them, but I can't seem to duplicate their success. Any tips?

Holiday eating: The aftermath

I put on five pounds over the holidays. When you consider I put on 13 last year, it's not so bad. Check out this article about getting back on the wagon.

The Battle of Evermore
Y'know, I've been reading over some of my past posts. And they're kinda boring. So now I'm going to discuss something everyone can relate to: weight and the battle of the bulge, as it were.

I've always been fat. No, I should say I became fat when I discovered food, which was about when I was nine or 10. Pictures of myself when I was a kid reveal that I was tiny. I'm talking short and thin.

Then I discovered my lifelong love affair with sweets, specifically chocolate, and it was all downhill from there.

I still have a bit of a horror about shopping for clothes in Sears because I have been traumatized by memories of my mom buying me clothes in the "Pretty Plus" department. I was F-A-T from the time I was about 11 or 12 until I was 17. Then I decided that enough was enough, in the words of Donna Summer, and went on a diet and began to exercize. It worked — I dropped about 20-30 pounds. And I got my first boyfriend, the before-mentioned asshole ex, at age 19. Coincidence? I think not. Growing up fat and shy, you don't exactly draw the guys like flies, knowwhutImean?

I kept my weight down, even through the really nasty (first of many) breakup with said ex, until I was 20. Then I went away to school. I stupidly designed my schedule so I was in solid classes until 5 p.m. By that time, I was practically faint with hunger, so having access to the all-you-can-eat dining halls was like being a kid in a candy store. Of course, one meal a day is not enough for anyone, so I usually ordered Chinese or pizza late at night. Baaad move. I quickly packed on a bunch of weight, and when I went home for break, my mom pulled me aside and said, "Christine, I love you, but this is the heaviest I have ever seen you." I looked at myself in the mirror, really looked at myself, and cried.

I continued to struggle with my weight for the rest of my time at Syracuse — those are pictures my husband has never seen, and let's keep it that way — and sort of pecked at my weight here and there. But I was fat again, and very discouraged. When I met M, I was pushing maximum density. I began to watch what I ate, and when we got engaged, I went on a mission to lose weight. No way was I going to be a big fat bride at my wedding. I went to Weight Watchers, and dropped a buttload of weight. I felt and looked good. For the first time, I was a size 10!

I kept my weight down for a few years, then we went to Italy earlier this year. And M's relatives were constantly like, "Eat! Eat! Diet when you go home!" I let it become a free-for-all. And I packed on the weight. You think you can't do much damage in a week? Think again. It sort of set me up to start eating a lot again. And I put on about 10 pounds. Maybe not a lot of weight to you, but when you're only 4'11", it shows.

Someone at work brought Weight Watchers around again, and I decided to join. Best thing I ever did. I've now dropped about 10 pounds, and I really think I can get to goal, which is 15 to 20 more. When I think about it in the grand scheme of things, it's not a buttload of weight. But it will make all the difference. I'm back on the thinner (and of course, more difficult) side of the fence again. Is it worth it? Most days, yes. Am I bad sometimes? Yes, but I'm also a human being, and I'm trying to take things more "one day at a time" and not feel so much guilt about slipups. My fat past and yo-yoing is over. Only I can make things better — and thinner — for myself. I feel good, my clothes fit better, and my asthma is more under control. Plus it's doin' good things for my love life...

My mom, a lifelong Weight Watcher, once told me, "It's a decision you have to make. What you eat, or how you look. Because you can't have both." For now, it's how I look. And I pray for the strength to keep on fighting and to stay on this side of the fence. The strength to fight the battle of evermore.

I'm baack from all my business travel. And again, I feel like shit. Why do I do this to myself? All I do on the road is shake hands and stand close to people. No wonder I always get sick. My job is one big schmooze sometimes.

Less than a week until we go to Italy. I can't wait to just be with M. And sit in the sunshine and do nothing but eat. Of course, I'm so fat now, I can't stand myself. (Ok, I'm only 20 pounds overweight. But M has said a few things. And when someone sees you nekkid on a regular basis, you can't hide what you look like.) I gotta brush up on my Italiano. M speaks fluently, but I'm going to need to fend for myself. I can't wait to shop and look at the beautiful scenery. I hope the food and water doesn't make me sick. Sometimes that happens to me. My stomach is sensitive, like the rest of me.

I feel a thousand times better about the ex factor. Fuck him.

My life has been so nuts that I am feeling lately like I'm running as fast as I possibly can but not getting anywhere. It's just feeding the goat, as my old journalism professor used to say, on my Web site, which must be fed daily with the latest electronics assembly news and products. Yeah, I work my ass off one day to write a great site, but then it must be done again the next day. I guess I'm getting burned out.

I started reminiscing a lot recently about a relationship I was once in. I sort of over-romanticized it in my mind. Then I was cleaning up the living room and found the journal I kept when I was dating this person. Man, was I miserable. And man, what an asshole. It totally reminded me how lucky I am to have M. A guy who will hug me for a whole hour straight and constantly tries to keep me amused, make me feel safe and loved, cares about my happiness, and goes out of his way to do nice things for me. A guy who loves that I have a brain in my head, so I don't have to hide my light under a bushel basket, such as it were. And a guy who looks so hot in his new suit that he takes my breath away.

I am really getting baby hungry. I was in McD's yesterday and there were these blonde twin girls. I said hello to one of them and she showed me her stuffed doggie. The other one came over to see what was what. I was utterly charmed by both of them, but I also don't want them to think it's cool to talk to strangers who are nice to them, so I cut my conversation short, since their dad was off getting their Happy Meals or whatver we used to get when we were kids. I still remember when McDonald's was haute cuisine. Mom hated taking us there, because she is so health conscious, but I really like their new salads. Every time I go in there, I smell the fries, though, and I'm tempted. But I'm trying to count those WW points and drop about 20 pounds, 10 to start with. I'm traveling to Cali in about two weeks for a show and I've got to be "on" constantly. So I want to look gooood.

I've been really thinking about a nose job lately. M is against it, but I've wanted one my whole life, and my mom says I should do it if it will make me feel better about myself. So belllleh.